Oscar winning material
Somehow 66 degrees. Sunny. Sunday. Windows open. Slight breeze. Successful nap. Pleasant dreams. I think I may have just learned what it’s like to be a cat.
There is always, at any given hour, on any given day, an America’s Next Top Model marathon on.
In the show intro, instead of “Who will be eliminated” Tyra should say:
WHOSE DREAMS WILL BE DESTROYED…TONIGHT?
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Possibly my favorite one yet. On my way back from the East Village last night, I got on the L Train and sat next to some cute hipster kid who just happened to be Asian and editing a long story on his journey back to Williamsburg (no, it was not Tao Lin). The title of the story was written in all caps at the top of each page, next to his last name, which was YEH:
I LOVE AND UNDERSTAND YOU AND WOULD BE PERFECT TO YOU NOW
There was a part about going into a used bookstore and a coffee shop and realizing he actually hated New York City (I think?). And I caught one phrase he edited:
ugly sights and ugly sounds
He cut out the second “ugly.”
(This feels too much like a Missed Connection.)
Me: [sound sort of annoyed. hate when people call me at work]: Hey.
Chelsea: Hey, I know you’re at work…
Me: Yeah.
Chelsea: I just thought of something. I just got a new laptop, and I’m giving you my old one. I’m not going to be there again until December, so I’m putting it in the mail today.
Me: Um, I…I love you?
Chelsea: Ok, bye.
Limit your daily calorie intake to the exact number of your Tumblarity. Most of the population will then be killed off due to starvation. Fuckyeahskinnybitches might face some problems, though.
PS - Seriously, Meaghan, market this idea to David Karp in your next meeting. I know he’s a busy man, but I’m trying to change the world here.
NYC Board of Elections: What’s ya’ borough, dear?
Me: Brooklyn.
NYC Board of Elections: Excellent! Brooklyn!
Me: [gives address]
NYC Board of Elections: It looks like you’ll be going to PS132? Oh, no, you’re goin’ to Jennings Hall.
Me: Will I get a sticker?
NYC Board of Elections: They might give you a gold star for tryin’ hard, but the important thing is that ya’ participated in democracy.
Me: Oh, ok.