cosmopsis

2009

December

November 18

October 56

September 37

August 27

July 20

June 22

May 20

April 29

March 23

February 21

January 34

2008

December 49

November 27

October 29

September 24

August 30

July 29

June 36

May 50

April 55

March 52

February 51

January 27

2007

December 49

November 45

October 8

September

August

July

June

May

April

March

February

January

Overheard at The Gutter / Brooklyn

Guy: And so the application asks you “Why do you want to be in the military?” and no...

It’s difficult to turn me sappy, but here we go. This...

Things to do today: 1,555 Things accomplished today: 0* ...

Patsy Cline - Blue Moon of Kentucky I have brain damage from last night, but this song is still...

That Kenley girl from Project Runway is...

PRAISE JESUS

The tiny little window of perfect weather that is fall in NYC makes me understand why my brother...

Word of the Day

grangerize pronunciation: (GRAYN-juh-ryz) meaning: verb tr.: 1. To mutilate a book by clipping...

OVERREAD IN NY

Subject: Re: DO NOT FEEL WELL, BUT AM COMING IN —the subject line of an email on some...

Oct 4 - 12: I’m incredibly excited to go back to...

OVERREAD IN NY

TRES PASOS I. Observación II. Interpretación III. Aplicación —this appeared on a single...

UPDATE: This movie was so entertaining that Kelsey and I...

“please don’t judge me for admitting this but i really...”
— Kelsey. Listen, I am totally...

Sunday morning phone call

kelsey: I need to re-assess my life
me: let's go to a movie

Objective Affection / Brooklyn Heights

Graham Ave / This made me cry

My bowling team is in 1st place

It is a rare occurrence, but I will occasionally take the...

“I’m on a plane, waiting for it to pull up to a...”
— Lindsay, in reference to my...

OVERREAD IN NEW YORK

The problem with being distracted is that we inhabit daily experience in an absent-minded mode, so ...

From the US Naturalization Application. I’d assume...

The Blow - Parentheses I had a dream that I was listening to this song while riding on a conveyor...

Word of the Day

pleiad pronunciation: (PLEE-uhd) meaning: noun: A group of (usually seven) brilliant persons...

Subway Etiquette: The Art of Reading...

It’s easy to tell when someone is reading over your shoulder—you can feel it. There are...

From the Archives

B: I've got to finish this goddamn spreadsheet
it's haunting my dreams
me: ok
B: I'll keep the window open
just give me a holler if you need me for anything
me: ok I'll be here
I will
B: I'll be RIGHT HERE
me: RIIIIIIIGHT HEREEEEEEE
LIKE E.T.
B: ouch elliot
me: I want E.T. as a pet
I need E.T. in my life
B: a small, anthropomorphic magical creature would really help---I agree
me: yes
BREAKING NEWS
anna nicole smith is dead
B: what?
me: dead
google it

Today is already a lost cause. All I ever wanted was to be a...

Things That Make Me Uncomfortable on the...

- Teenage boy staring at me with cerulean-colored contacts

me: I officially decided to stop watching mad men after last night's episode
I almost threw up from depression
B: did don draper kill a prostitute just to watch her die?

B: the archival function of gchat is so bizarre
me: I know
B: I want to go back in time and explain it to a group of suburban teens in a 1950s soda foundation
fountain
I just typed "foundation"
me: The Great Soda Foundation of 1950
B: because 99.9% of the time that I type "foun" it ends in "dation"

All I Need is a Miracle

I just emerged from the subway at 33rd and stepped out into a downpour. It would be a while before I...

Gifts from my boss upon her return from vacation: 1) One...

Nico - I’ll Keep It With Mine I think today will involve at least one nap.

Overheard on Metropolitan Avenue

Man 1: I've given up dope, I've given up cigarettes, I've given up drinking, I've given up coffee, but cheese...cheese was the hardest thing I've ever had to give up, man. The hardest thing I've ever, ever had to give up.
Man 2: Damn, man

GRE

GRE Administrator: let me see your ID
me: ok
GRE Administrator: do you have a cell phone?
me: yes
GRE Administrator: let me see it
me: ok
GRE Administrator: turn it off
me: ok
GRE Administrator: let me see your pockets
me: ok
GRE Administrator: turn them inside out
me: ok
GRE Administrator: turn around
me: what?
GRE Administrator: turn around!
me: ok
GRE Administrator: do you have any further questions?
me: no
GRE Administrator: if you need more scratch paper, just wave

The Notwist - Chemicals The GRE was boring.

My mom and I both flew out to see my brother in San Francisco this past May. He drove us down one of...

Peggy Lee - Is That All There Is? I think Peggy had herself a fishbowl of scotch.

A few things: 1) My landlord has gone missing. 2) My coworker is listening to “Counting...