December 2007
48 posts
“you’re so goth, you shit bats”
– unknown
warning: this is personal
i usually refrain from posting anything too personal on this blog, primarily because i want the images and words to convey something lightweight and universal (even the word “universal” sounds too strong. after all, this is not literature). basically i don’t want this blog to be yet another platform for posting masturbatory, self-obsessed stories that no one else cares about or...
this year needs to end →
autosuggestions for 2008
run 3 miles a day, 5 days a week
stop complaining
read books
electric blanket
tonight i was in a bar full of smoke
full of people i don’t know anymore
a boy asked me a boring question
he didn’t really care about the answer
he said “yeah” while i was in mid-sentence
i wanted to bite one of my fingers off
and put it in his beer
you can always rely on my mother to say something...
mom: ok, we need to have a town meeting.
me: what?
mom: let's say i kicked the bucket tomorrow. y'all need a way to get into my storage units. did you know that i have three storage units?
my brother: [laughing]
mom: i have one in jackson, one in clinton, one in --
me: mom, seriously?
my brother: [laughing]
mom: actually i have two in jackson and one in clinton.
me: can we please talk about something other than you kicking the bucket?
“ok. i’m over chrismus. where are those gallagher brothers when you need to...”
– kk
flight cancelled, but I found a new friend
I stood in line for almost an hour only to find out that i can’t fly anywhere because every flight is cancelled.
So I take the air tran back to the NJ train station. It’s windy and cold. I’m stressed out and pissed off, and I see a guy smoking a cigarette. So I ask him for one, and we talk until the train comes and ride back to New York together.
We had dinner and...
going places
L train to 8th Ave
ACE to Penn Station
Penn Station to NJ Transit
NJ Transit to Newark Airport stop
Air Tran to Newark Airport Terminals
Flight 5257 from Newark to Cincinnati, OH
Flight 4857 from Cincinnati, OH to Jackson, MS
What-The-Hell-Was-That-Movie Pie
waitress? starring keri russell?
i wouldn’t say it was bad, but it didn’t make me feel good.
it didn’t make me feel bad in a good way either.
i’m confused.
welp
if monday wasn’t the Worst Day of My Life, it was a close second.
but hey, at least project runway comes on tonight, right?
something good will be written
and when it is written
people will read it and start writing
and they will keep writing
until something good is written
and when it is written
people will read it and start writing
and they will keep writing until
something good is written
?
i was just able to pour
a glass of wine
without my roommate hearing
why are bad things happening to all my friends
do i count
do we count in all of this
sorry for the questions with no question marks but i like it that way
the best cover letter ever written in the history...
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to further discuss my qualifications with you. I’ve done a lot of research on your organization, and I must say that I’m certainly very interested in the position.
While my undergraduate studies centered primarily on philosophy and literature, I know that I have what it takes to successfully take on a barely-supervised and structurally...
monday morning
me: I kind of feel guilty sometimes for seeing movies like the golden compass
or spiderman
or superman
Derek: why?
me: the money spent on those could fuel the economy of starving nations
for months
years maybe
they're just so pointless
Derek: don't
don't pay your taxes
me: I wish I was better at disobeying the law
they have me right where they want me
complacent and obedient
GOD BLESS THE USA
Derek: i think it's good we have movies like spiderman
once the economy collapses we won't be able to watch movies like that anymore
think about how many people they could have fed with the money they used to build the pyramids
me: I think massive constructions built for spiritual and symbolic reasons by an ancient civilization are a little different from spiderman III
Derek: well what else do us americans have, ashley?
me: apple pie and porn
The Mayor
in my dream last night, which took place in the 30’s or 40’s, my mom had to meet with “The Mayor” in philadelphia (not to be confused with the Mayor of philadelphia). she needed to ask him for help — it was something urgent — so she had to get there fast. there were no cars in sight. she finally said “i am just going to walk there.” so she walked...
i am wearing red tights
a friend of mine gave me a red kiosk flask for christmas. she even put apple cider in it. spiked, of course. i was tempted to pull it out on the train ride home.
wjrl;aewkjroawjeirael;w
aw;oeiruawlekjrl;awejkraw;oirjwlekjlkfja;
wlekjr;owaeirlwkeflawekjfwaeo;ifjwalejf
lwaekjfaowiejlkfjaoweijfeklwj
fo;iaejw;fjw;ael
kjwlkfjw;elkjf;oaweijfakwe
jflkajweofijawlfkjlwa
kjf;weoifjwa;efjlweajkfwoaeifjwa
elkfjwlaekfjowaeifjwaekjflwaejfawfoi
aewlkewjaf
lwaekjfowaijflwakejflwaejflkwaejf
awf;waoeifja
that’s me, short-circuiting
“everyone feels justified to give an opinion, which then gets diluted and...”
– kk
i has a dream
my dream last night:
i was marrying my office manager. it was my wedding day. i told my jewish roommate “he’s jewish and from queens!” and he said “perfect!” i had not sent out invitations. i think it was just by word-of-mouth. i casually mentioned it to my other roommate. he had a friend over and i said to both of them “hey, you wanna come to my wedding...
where do we go when we die
when i was little i used to leave notes for myself at my grandmother’s house in tylertown, mississippi. we went about once a year. i would hide the sheet of notebook paper under the bed in her guest bedroom. i don’t think she ever found it. it would say things like “i am here again, hello, the date is ____”
i think i was fascinated by the thought of...
this is about melancholy and was written by a guy...
and i found it on her blog, which i really enjoy reading
The Greeks thought that this came from an excess of black bile. But where does this black bile come from? Are you born with it? Do you inhale it somehow? Is it related to diet? Does it start off a different color and then turn black? How much time can you spend thinking about black bile before you start to get sick?
That aside, this is...
i has a question
why is everything making me cry recently? commercials, old emails, groups of children being led across a busy manhattan street…
why?
it could be chemical or hormonal or whatever. i do not know. but i has a question: why is everything making me cry recently?
also, why do questions with no question mark make me laugh?
for example, ginger just typed:
who did she marry
and it...
upon confessing to ginger my daydream about an...
me: of course there is the insane part of me that's already imagining us making grilled cheeses in our underwear in our apartment in the west village
ginger: we're both insane
you are not alone
Watchi’m tired, too, helen…so tired.
1 tag
“The search is what anyone would undertake if he were not sunk in the...”
– Walker Percy, from The Moviegoer
my house is a digestive system
when the heat comes on in my apartment
the walls sound like intestines
slowing digesting gremlins
last night the sound made me seasick
i felt like i was in the stomach of a whale
i stood up to puke but nothing happened so i went back to sleep
chirp chirp
is anybody home?
feels like
it “feels like” 22 today.