January 2008
26 posts
THIS WEBSITE IS COOLER THAN YOURS →
Problems with Cloverfield
that girl was in high heels the whole time.
the video camera had more powers than the monster.
I Think I Would Be A Mean Teacher
Since I’ve been working at a university, I’ve realized that I would be a mean teacher. I think a lot of students would think I was a bitch but would end up liking me and appreciating me later.
I have zero tolerance for excuses. While I consider myself to be a sensitive person and an “active listener,” I will also cut you off mid-sentence if I know you are full of...
"I'll Have a Grande Decaf Mocha in a Venti Cup...
I spend more time and money at the Starbucks near my place of employment than I am comfortable admitting. I’m there almost every morning, as I can’t seem to get it together to brew my own coffee, and there’s nowhere else conveniently located on my route to work. On days when I’m especially dragging I stop in after lunch as well. I only order hot or iced coffee. No green tea...
"The teenager wanted to crash the airliner into a... →
Don’t forget to read the last sentence.
“You are actually already on the lowest plan we offer.”
– at&t customer service representative
“You may experience a brief period of silence while you are being transferred to...”
– automated voice of 1-800-VOTE-NYC
back in business
philadelphia was good.
we went to an ethiopian dive bar. we saw a movie about sea monsters at the imax.
we also rented a documentary called Whole about people who have an irrational desire to become amputees. the condition is not yet recognized by the medical world, so doctors are facing ethical dilemmas regarding treatment. people with this condition are lucid, intelligent, and otherwise...
hi, bye
going to philadelphia
maybe even the moon
not good
apple care plan is “voided”
feel free to buy me a new computer
toast
my hard drive exploded yesterday.
happy monday.
I think I was just in a Pee-Wee Herman movie
Today I got stuck underground on the E train. It stopped for almost thirty minutes and the lights went out. To the left of me was a man screaming anti-Semitic slurs at the top of his lungs; to the right of me was another man pleading for money because he had recently had a stroke. Their voices kept getting louder and louder, as if they were competing against each other. After a while I just...
gmail chat excerpt
me: I am eating a jolly rancher
watermelon flavored
where does artificial watermelon flavoring come from?
B: a hell dimension
light and bubbly movie!
There Will Be Blood!
fun for the whole family!
perfect date movie!
made me feel great about being a human being!
bring the kids!
phil collins
phil collins is on the radio at work right now. i feel like I’m in one of those easy listening commercials where all of the coworkers are dancing in their cubicles.
phil collins makes me extremely uncomfortable. he makes me feel embarrassed, like i’m watching a sex scene with my entire family.
i do not like phil collins.
i need sleep
shin splints
“The artsy crowd was all dressed and drugged and ready to party. I just started...”
– Cormac McCarthy
fetal position
too much champagne.
how are you feeling today?
"feels like" fucking four degrees
please email me book suggestions
i’m not leaving the house
hello brooklyn
home sweet home