cosmopsis

X-Men

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am now an X-Men character. My name is The Defenestrator. I...

Dec 2nd

“That’s so depressing, Ashley.”
— R. Moola

Dec 1st

Overread in NY

If at first you don’t succeed…try, try a cliché ! I love clichés! —From The...

Nov 30th

jamesyeh: feeling dissatisfied with blogspot. thinking about using this thing more. DO IT,...

Nov 30th

Hypnosis by flashing sign

Please keep Feet OFF seats LAST STATION NEXT STATION NEW YORK PENN Be considerate Speak Softly...

Nov 28th

I’m not lying when I say this, but I’m 28 and...

Nov 26th

A pumpkin pie has exploded in the top of The Empire State...

Nov 25th

Meet Anne. I’ve known her since I was 6. Her mother...

Nov 25th

Listen

Joan Jett - Crimson and Clover Hello. This is dedicated to someone in my office.

Nov 25th

“Did I tell you about the time that Judy cut herself, and was...”
— R. Moola

Nov 24th

One good thing about my job is there are always different...

Nov 24th

Listen

Jerry Lee Lewis - What’s Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made a Loser Out of Me) Who needs a...

Nov 24th

This is my friend Jocelyn Guest. (I took the rest of this...

Nov 24th

Fallingandlaughing, whose blog I recommend, must have picked...

Nov 23rd

Live Gchat Fight! Tao Lin vs. Gawker...

Nov 22nd

Listen

Helium - Pat’s Trick

Nov 22nd

Listen

fallingandlaughing: “Real Love,” Beach House Jesus, this song is pretty. I had not heard it...

Nov 22nd

“Subjects were more likely to help when the person...”
— A great Slate article by Tom...

Nov 22nd

Stupid Computers

In the past three years, I’ve had three different Macbooks, two of which exploded two days...

Nov 21st

Oh my god I'm on the internet. At my...

Is something wrong with me?

Nov 21st

My Mother

Mom: So, is your stove still broken?
Me: I already told you, they are replacing it next week.
Mom: But how do you make toast?
Me: What? With a toaster. What? I don't even eat toast.
Mom: I still worry about drugs. Are any of your friends on drugs?
Me: Yes.

Nov 21st

Look at how pretty today is.

Nov 20th

You Know It's Been a Long (Good?) Day...

You call your co-worker, who sits mere feet away from you, just to say hello.

Nov 20th

I was told today that I am like "Jack...

Besides a drunk British professor once telling me when I was a bartender, “Your dimples…...

Nov 20th

“You replied to all. Was that on purpose? Omg. I love you.”
— KK. Of COURSE it was on...

Nov 20th

“Where you’ll look your best,...

Nov 19th

Are You Sure (You Want to Be Ripped Off...

Last night, a friend and I went to Nancy Whiskey Pub on Lispenard Street in Tribeca for a...

Nov 18th

Glad I Bowl With My Right Arm

Me: Hi, something bit my arm. I think it's a spider? Do you take walk-ins?
Clinic: Yes. Tomorrow from 4:30 - 6:30.
Me: I'm scared I'll be dead by then.
Clinic: Have a nice afternoon.

Nov 18th

Overread in NY

I was too exhausted to try and overread a single line of this on the L train this morning, but I...

Nov 17th

It’s ok, I still love you KK.

Nov 16th

“A person suffering from delusions of grandeur may actually...”
— Wiki page on megalomania

Nov 16th

Look who it is.

Nov 15th

I experience mind-blowing anxiety when my mom doesn’t...

Nov 15th

Many gloves

Nov 15th

Look! My electricity bill is here! Along with a piece of...

Nov 14th

If I would just go buy a router I could...

Nov 14th

“The popular caricature of dopamine—it’s the...”
— Jonah Lehrer. Have a nice...

Nov 13th

My bowling team is still, STILL, in first place.

Nov 13th

me: Man, wish I could book swap but I've got bowling finals
meaghano: Hahahha geekiest sentence ever

Nov 13th

I found a book report I did in elementary school. I highly...

Nov 12th

by R. Moola

Nov 12th

Going to Pasalacqua

There is a Dookie-era Billie Joe Armstrong look-alike who rides the 6 train in the mornings. If I...

Nov 12th

Overread in NY

“What size are you?” he asked gently. — From a book called Homo Thug, seen on...

Nov 11th

“She’s the girl of our dreams,...”
— Walker Percy, Love in the...

Nov 11th

Problems With Eating at Your Desk,...

Coworker: Hey, what'cha got there?
Me: Just some soup.
Coworker: Soup, mmm.
Me: Yep.
Coworker: Is it good?
Me: Yeah.
Coworker: Where'd you get it?
Me: Lots of places around here have it. Approximately 20,000.

Nov 10th

Oscar winning material

Nov 9th

Derek, Kat and I are watching The Lake House with Dutch...

Nov 9th

Somehow 66 degrees. Sunny. Sunday. Windows open. Slight...

Nov 8th

Mysteries of the Universe

There is always, at any given hour, on any given day, an America’s Next Top Model marathon on....

Nov 7th

“Did you know that apparently Albert Einstien had crazy hair...”
— R. Moola

Nov 6th

STILL in 1st place

Nov 6th

"somebody 'missed connections'-ed me, sort...

Nov 5th

“you saw my friend ‘james yeh’ on the l train. my...”
— Tao Lin. Well. That solves...

Nov 4th

Overread in NY

Possibly my favorite one yet. On my way back from the East Village last night, I got on the L Train...

Nov 4th

Out of nowhere phone call from Chelsea

Me: [sound sort of annoyed. hate when people call me at work]: Hey. Chelsea: Hey, I know...

Nov 4th

Solved the obesity crisis

Limit your daily calorie intake to the exact number of your Tumblarity. Most of the population will...

Nov 4th

Now we’re talking.

Nov 3rd

Finding my polling place because I just...

NYC Board of Elections: What’s ya’ borough, dear? Me: Brooklyn. NYC Board of Elections:...

Nov 3rd

Happy Birthday, mom. I’ll be scared if you ever find...

Nov 2nd

from Studies in Pessimism

Nov 2nd

Um. In their TRAIN OF THOUGHT subway series, the MTA has...

Nov 2nd

“That guy just tripped over a rat.”
— Meaghan O’Connell

Nov 2nd

Last night's bathroom line

Girl: What's your costume? I like your leggings. I like stripes.
Me: Oh, I'm not really anyth-
Girl: I love stripes.
Me: What are you supposed to be?
Girl: A drunken one night stand.

Nov 1st